layout depression

it should be wrong for me to feel in a funk because i screwed up my lj-layout, but alas, it is true. even though the news post stated that only 4 out of 5 of the new layouts were ready, i went ahead and started updating. of course, the one i had really wanted was the one not available. because i was so certain it was there, and not all of the new designs have previews, i started flailing around and changing things. sigh, i shall recover. i'm not sure that anyone actually sees the layout of my lj anyways as most view from their friends page.

and no, i'm not usualyl enthralled in the lj-drama, but it has just been one of those days.

an academic dilemma

my plan for fall semester, and indeed most semesters, will be to take one english course, and one non-english course. this is both to avoid burnout and to take care of some of the courses that did not transfer, or were never required in florida. the english course will be a bit of a trick as sections are filling up quickly, but i am fairly confident i will be able to find something to take. however, i've got a really big choice to make with the non-english course. the history courses are already full and according to the english advisor, they fill up very quickly due to reserved seats for history majors. ok, i can wait on those. i will need another science with lab. this will most likely be BIO as it is the prereq for a whole passel of horticulture courses i have been lusting after. however, i am not going to try to take a lab class when grades are still an issue. i don't feel comfortable in science classes. sure, i can play along when it's just theory, but i never get the right results in the lab, and my intuition completely fails on me. when i told the advisor of my enthusiasm for taxes, she mentioned that economics might be a good choice for my remaining social sciences elective. it could be. i would find it very strange taking the course my dad taught for so long. and i'm not sure i have a good idea of what the course would require of me. again, maybe something i should not take the first semester or so. she also recommended sociology but (sorry fizzgig_bites) i just can't stand it. i could go crazy crazy and take philosophy but i feel no real enthusiasm for that. i guess i feel that i've studied enough philosophy to know myself and more would be repetitive.

i find myself more and more intrigued by the idea of taking french. i took the placement test and ended up in the 2nd of 4 required courses which sounds fair, as best i can figure out, that is the equivalent of the course i dropped at uf. i really want to learn french, and although i placed in the 2nd course, i've had a lot of casual exposure to french through my neighbors and have a true desire to learn how to speak french. however... the advisor warned me that french has a reputation for being a tough class and i know that language classes are always a lot of work. however... when i expressed enthusiasm for learning the language, she said that she thought i would be ok, if it was something i really wanted to learn. i should have no problem finding a class to take as there are two sections with 15-20 seats available. another factor is that once i start the first course, i will want to continue in the sequence until i am done. it would simplify my course angst for the next year which should be a good thing, but it will be hard not even glancing at all the intriguing courses out there. and again, why should i look when i'm not going to be able to get into them? argh. i can't even decide which the sensible approach would be. it would be a good balance for english as it's a diffferent language and would provide a mental break, but it's a bad choice in that both courses would use the language centers of my brain as opposed to the math/analytical sides. then again, my tedium craving soul can always be satisfied by tax courses. wait, another vote for french, i've told my french speaking neighbor of the possibility that i might take french and she was intrigued. i know she would be willing to help, although i would miss our english conversations if we went to only french. of course, her mom is coming to visit during the fall and she speaks very little english. in my heart, i know a good swift kick in the rear is probably what it will take for me to get to fluency. in some ways, i want fluency in french in the same way that i want my poetry to transcend. however, i am not as certain i have the potential to achieve fluency.

sigh, a logical person would just wait and see what was left august 3rd, but i want to have all of my options graphed out so that i can snag my courses pronto - well, that and my obsessive nature. it may seem odd to spend so much attention on what i want, but it's not pure selfishness. while i've grown a lot over the years and know that i can do what i have to do, i've also learned a lot about myself and know that i do better when my interest is engaged. why leave out any advantage when following my heart will produce better grades? le sigh.

let's make this into a poor lj-poll:

1. should jenn take
a) french
b) anything but french

2. and if jenn doesn't take french i think she should take___________


p.s. i'm also allowed to take one p.e. course per semester and as i need 2 before i graduate, i'll pile one on there if scheduling permits. the leading candidate at this time is water step aerobics which is intriguing and amusing at the same time.